Canada’s Remembrance Day has always made me feel...well, awkward, frankly. We marked it at school when I was a child, honouring the Canadian soldiers who had fought bravely in wars throughout history, with countless numbers having lost their lives.
It was a sad and noble ritual, so why didn’t I feel connected? I watched my classmates standing up taller at the ceremonies feeling proud, knowing that their grandparents had been heroic and sacrificed themselves for the greater good.
I am the granddaughter of Jewish Holocaust survivors, and grew up with the knowledge of my family being devastated by World War 2. My ancestors weren’t heroes in the Remembrance Day sense of the word...they were victims. The “war” chamber in my mind is filled up with sadness and pain. There isn’t any room for heroism and nobility.
I have thought over the years of ways to connect with this day, so important in Canadian culture. It’s not just this day, either: it seems important to reflect on the unspeakable sacrifices that all of our ancestors made for us to live this unprecedentedly comfortable life.
Then I discovered an interesting concept: Ancestor worship, as performed in Taoist/Confucian/Buddhist Chinese families. There is a vast and rich culture behind this, but here is the basic concept:
One has to pay respect and homage to the ancestors, honour the deeds and memories of the deceased, since the ancestors are the ones having brought the descendants into the world, nourished them and having prepared the conditions under which the descendants grew up, hence ancestor veneration is a pay back of spiritual debts.
This makes sense to me, and seems a good way to keep the memories of our ancestors and their sacrifices alive, no matter their culture, origins, or war affiliations.
Our son Z. is old enough now to start meditating (according to Buddhist legend, children can become enlightened as young as age seven!) We are setting up a small space in our home with inspiring objects to support family meditation in the mornings. This week, in honour of Remembrance Day, I will be adding any available photos of parents, grandparents and great-grandparents, to take a moment each day to honour their memory.
Thank you, ancestors, for providing me with this life, this breath, this chance.
Happy Remembrance Day friends.
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